Foschnizzle my nizzle wa zizzle bippity boppity boop my homo sapiens!
OMG! We are like so hip! (PopKey)
Did you hear the newschnizlle, my nizzle?
Give us the deets, girlfriend!(Tenor)
Some dude named Fidel Castro is deader than disco, or something…
oh dude… being dead like sucks… (aniview.edu)
Since we have no idea who that is…
He def doesn’t! (Giphy)
… and we know that you have never heard of this world leading kung pow-izzle…
R U really feeling something if you don’t hashtag it? (Buzzfeed)
Here at #Relatable, we are going to be counting down the top 5 world leaders that you have totally like never like have ever like heard of before in real life.
Only 5? Yes, 5! (Caroleau.blogspot.com)
Let’s go! You ready?
Are you really though? (The FanChize)
1. Alf (1986-1990)
Dictator Gordon Shumway aka Alien Life Form aka Alf has many names to his long and arduous career. After immigrating to the great land of San Fernando Valley from the planet Melmac, he began a slow and deadly rise to power, that eventually led to the enslaving of countless millions, that were promptly sent to the coal mines of adjacent lands. Before stepping down to live an idyllic life with the Tanner family, he will always be known for his tyrannical rule, despotic power, and his love of the cat Lucky.
Dictator Alf, reporting for duty! (Giphy)
2. Fat Albert (1972-1985)
The junkyards of North Philadelphia will never be as prosperous and as grandiose as they were under the Grand Duchy of Fat Albert. Despite his size, he was known for his athleticism in public spectacles attended by his mighty cabinet, The Junkyard Gang. His booming voice and vibrant personality warmed the hearts of millions of Philly children as he would sing to each one through the Radio, an old-time form of communication. Although his legacy has been tarnished by the rules of his father, his influence still remains vivid to this day in the architecture of his former reign.
Duke Fat Albert as he sings one of his famous “Fireside Chats.” (AR15.com)
3. Jem/Jerrica (1985-1988)
You’ve NEVER seen Disassociative Identity Disorder, or multiple personality disorder, much like this before. Jerrica Benton by day, Jem by night, she ruled over Starlight Music with an iron fist and some horribly dated fashions. Fueled by her father’s schizophrenia and the love of a man she could never have, Rio Pacheco, she convinced herself that her earrings carried paranormal powers that allowed her to change personalities. No ruler since Nero or Caligula ever performed so much harm to so nascent a domain.
Just your average everyday girl turning into a merciless tyrant! NBD! (Tenor)
4. She-Ra (c. 1985)
She-Ra, Princess of Power! Her reign as President ushered in a brief, but verbose, era of female empowerment and a return to Greco-Nordic fashion and flair. Born Princess Adora, her magic sword and sapphic overtures gave her an edge in response to the homoerotic terror of Prince Adam, or He-Man as he was known in his infamous “hostels.” As a patron of the arts, she inspired countless artisans and performers to create works that have reached a caliber not seen since the reign of Duke Fat Albert. What a legend!
Girl Power! Equalization between the Sexes! (Pinterest)
5. The California Raisins (c. 1980s)
Cronyism: thy name is raisin! The California Raisins were a well-known agricultural leader at the beginning of their collective reign. An oligarchy, that rivaled that of Ancient Athens, was established by their totalitarian and oddly delicious rise to power. Although short-lived, like their award-winning, musical career, their influence on popular and political culture can still be felt in the fields of agricultural California and by former President of the United States Ronald Reagan.
Seconds before his failed assassination by the “Got Milk” Underground. (Tumblr)
Have you heard of any of these world leaders?
Have you? (Web Chutney)
Were there any world leaders that we should have added but we totally forgot? Let us know in the comments below!
Mash them keys! (minkyungs.tumblr.com)
Well well well, until next time:
Adios, comrade #millenials! (Giphy)